We Believe in Kazakhstan!

The event below has no connection to the forthcoming ‘We Believe in Israel‘ Conference. Jewdas wishes this important event every success.

We Believe in Kazakhstan!

This weekend we are holding a grand conference to celebrate the glorious nation Kazakhstan!

We, the people assembled, assert that we believe in Kazakhstan, and are certain that it continues to exist. We also believe in Tinkerbell and Santa Klaus, but feel unsure about crop circles.

Do not dwell on minor internal issues (forced marriage, Jew-baiting, walrus-fighting, poof-strangling) – this will only give strength to the haters of our glorious country. Only believe! Questions are for decadent westerners and homosexuals.

We promise a wondrous range of diverse speakers – all of whom agree with each other!

We guarantee a range of fascinating themes, all within the framework of Kazakhstan as a democratic and anti-semitic state. These are the pillars of our nation, any one who does not like them can fuck off to Florida from where elderly Jewish ladies control the world.

Open to each and every supporter of the proud nation Kazakhstan without restriction! (communists, homosexuals, liberals, and girly men should check beforehand to see if they have been blacklisted)

Sessions include:

How to get better representation for rapists in the media
Oppressing minorities while keeping a ‘Happy Face’
A history of Kazakhstani potassium in 45 minutes
Why do people hate us –
is it because they are communists?
The battle over university campuses –
making sure our students continue to study traditional dance
‘Make ‘em laugh-
Using humour to avoid being boycotted

Special track for young people –  Hugging and Wrestling/Sucking and Fucking Kazakhstan‘. Sexy!

The conference will take place at a top secret location in Western Siberia. Entry is by helicopter. To book your place email KJB@gmail.com, with photos and DNA samples.

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Kibitzen

  1. Kazakh Embassy

    Borat was offensive … full of stereotypes … this is worse. Kazakhstan is a great country rapidly modernising.

  2. tim

    hi Baruch, going by your previous posts I’m sure there’s some satirical, cynical, witty, interesting point of view here, but, and it’s a big but, where’s the humour? It’s true, borat laid into Kazakhstan taking the piss big style which played right into the hands of the persecution complex zionists, but really where do you fit into this…….
    Ah, I get it you’re talking code, nudge nudge, you mean israel. HaHaHa well funny it’s a parady of sasha baron cohen and his zionist hate force. Cool I thought you’d lost it then.
    @ Kazakh Embassy – I’m sure Baruch can speak for himself, but I don’t think he was having a pop as he’s never been to Kazakhstan let alone speaks the language plus he would never intentionally slag off a whole country and it’s inhabitants for no reason. Goodluck with your modernising

  3. Ross

    Where’s the humour? Hehehe – right there! That comment was even funnier than the article, which was pretty funny to begin with!

  4. Breiagh

    It’s a real shame this has to be explained but apparently it does – Borat was not about ridiculing the nation or people of Kazakhstan. The fact that his depiction was entirely innaccurate was kinda the point. Borat was about exposing the ignorance and racism of the people we see him interacting with onscreen. I suspect that Kazakhstan was chosen as his country of origin more or less at random as “obscure central asian country”. Perhaps SBC should have made up a plausible sounding name instead of using the name of a real country, but I honestly don’t think it matters because, from the level of some of the comments I have seen about him, I suspect it would still go right over the heads of many. Borat is about ridiculing racism, not promoting it. The last thing anyone ought to be doing is taking it all at face value. That’s what the ignorant fools we see with him onscreen do, but at least (IMO) that’s funny to watch. To get all offended and accuse SBC of racism – wel that really just kinda sad.

  5. Breiagh

    So’s my spelling, kinda sad! Anything you can do about that last sentence, moderator? :)

  6. tim

    hi Ross & Breiagh, cheers for the comp Ross, not too sure if you’re taking the piss, in a nice way though. Maybe I don’t really like sbc and his agenda. You are aware he’s a full on zio, and his humour always comes across as an attention seeking annoying twat. Like Breiagh says maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see the ‘ ridiculing racism ‘ angle. People didn’t come out of the cinema feeling all warm hearted and sympathetic towards the people of Kazakhstan, far from it. Maybe you could point me in the direction of some work by sbc where he’s understanding towards the plight of the palestinians under the tyrany of the israelis, unlike this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxB80y8_rQk
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/10/baron-cohen-sued-over-terrorism-claim
    Anyways, I suppose he’s working through childhood issues and his latent racism is just par for the course, synonymous with being ‘a zionist chosen one’. Cheers

  7. Marco Van Pastry

    This seems racist rather than funny

  8. tim

    @Marco – hey have you checked out Gilad Atzmon book ”The Wandering Who”? I think there is an answer in there to why people find it impossible to see what’s in plain view. I was hoping there would be a page up here on Jewdas for a discussion as I think it’s a top thought provoking book. Come on dudes lets get it rolling x

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