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Day of Anger

In a rare combined statement, the Board of Deputies and UJIA have called for a countrywide ‘Day of Anger’ for Anglo-Jewry. Declaring that it is time that the timid community stood up for itself, the stattement yells ‘anger should be our new watchword’.

Although a date has not yet been set for the anger, it is believed that the day, designed as a venting of Jewish spleen, will be sometime during Pesach when it is hoped that the Chief Rabbi will lead the Jewish people out of the suburbs.

Chief amoung the list of greviences felt by the community is the lack of an overground rail-link between places such as Golders Green, Mill Hill, Hampstead and Stanmore. ‘Whilst we are clear that this does not amount to anti-Semitism’ said Harry Greenstein’ of the Board of Deputies, ‘we do feel that this represents hatred of Jews by Tansport for London and its jewhater leader Ken Livingstone’. Greenstein also pointed out just how offensive the current system was for the majority of north london jews who ‘don’t do the underground’.

The UJIA was also keen to point out just how much the jews have to be angry about. ‘The price of kosher meat is unacceptable. We feel that salt beef and chicken soup are basic jewish human rights and must be subsidised by the government. How can pay for council housing but not ritual slaughter is beyond me’. She added that whilst she was clear that talk of banning shechita was not anti-semitic, it did represent a clear ‘hatred of jews’.

Finally, anger is to be directed at the outpourings of jewhaters in the media. ‘It is clear’ said Greenstein, ‘that whish overt antisemitis is no longer possible, the anti-jewish conspiracy has found other outlets. How else can you explain the backlash against the 4x4s so beloved of the jewish people? The massive dangers to pedestrians and over consumption of fuel are just a smokescreen for jewhating’.

Planned activities involve a ‘go slow’ of 4x4s around the north circular, a bocott of kosher isles in tesco and the wearing of yellow armbands.

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