The last week has seen a flurry of statements from the greats of our religious leadership. For the uninitiated, the language of responsa can be confusing and technical. To help make sense of these for lay people, we offer a translation of the loshen kodesh.
|
What they say |
What they mean |
| We need rational discourse | Everyone should agree with me |
| People need to listen to each other | People need to listen to me |
| We need better dialogue | I’m worried I’ll lose my job if I say anything of substance. |
| I have campaigned tirelessly on this issue | I have recently learnt how to use Twitter |
| Antisemitism has never been so rife | I have recently learnt how to use the Internet |
| I feel compelled to speak out | I am desperate to appear relevant |
| We have no desire to curtail legitimate criticism of Israel | I don’t think any of your criticisms of Israel are legitimate |
| We have no desire to stop people criticising Jews | Not yet, at least |
| There is nothing wrong with criticising individual Jews | It’s my favourite hobby |
| We are proud of our work with UJIA | Please keep giving us money |
| Jews are no different from the rest of society | Keep your head down and try to blend in |
| We must be on guard against populists, right and left | I have singularly failed to understand the causes and consequences of every major political event since Napoleon |
| The majority of British Jews are Zionists | We drive out the ones who aren’t |
| Jews in Britain are terrified | We have literally no sense of proportion |
| No one disputes the right of countries such as Britain or the United States to exist | The most left wing people I know are Blairites |
| This should mark a watershed moment | Please G-d let this end |
“The most left wing people I know are Blairites”… perfect. Thanks for being the desperately-needed voice of reason.