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The day Judas rose up. Hail Jewdas!

Our dear counterpart from biblical time, Judas Iscariot, was a beloved man of Christ and supposedly of G-od. He loved Yeshoua to bits and, from what I heard, Christ loved him too. Nice starting taste. But everything got cocked up thanks to a Roman consul named Pontius Pilate. For no apparent reasons – except maybe greed, jealousy, being on TV – Judas gave our fellow Yeshoua to the Roman authorities and to the Kohanim Hagdolim. We all know how the story ended, in a very Roman way, bloodwise very ‘Draculesque’ and picturewise very ‘Chapmany’. How did we get there? Why did Judas become evil on Earth and so symptomatic of the Jewish People itself –  of its holiness and disgrace?

Judas, acting as a ‘traitor’ achieved the apex of what a Jew can reach in its life. First he enabled his good friend to free his spirit through the suffering of his body. Secondly, he gave billions of credulous people hope and belief, and finally reached the universal Jewdas level of understanding. But that was not enough; people started attacking his reputation and made him worse than the Mr. Scum himself. So bad, in fact, that in Germany it became illegal to name a kid after this name, Judas. His status descended day after day and century after century at a dramatic speed, until some smugglers came into a cave in Egypt and recovered an ancient parchment that would become known as the Gospel of Judas. This for sure would be a dramatic twist in History.

‘Poteach et yadecha’ says psalm 145, it translates: ‘You open your hand’, and what came out of it? An incredible text that tells us, in old Coptic, that Judas betrayed Yeshoua not because he did not like him or anything like his hair were brighter and his nose smaller but because Yeshoua asked him to do so in order to reach the Kether, the highest kabalistic point in the ensemble of sephiroth … an extremely hard bottom line, as you can imagine, for most of the gentile world. There is no evil anymore; there is a Hero, nay a Super-Hero. Exit all texts about the presupposed Jewish nature based on Judas’, and discredited too is all the artwork picturing over million of paintings our Hero as the devil itself. But let’s face it, the best taste of all is the confirmation that Mel Gibson is a real tosser (following his last Aramaic Passion of the Christ) and as such will be soon amongst the Jewdas’s ranks, (the Jewdas Beth Din is pleased to announce).

Following this reasoning, the personification of the Jewish People through Judas makes us look incredibly good. Our holy biblical counterparts make Yeshoua the salvation for the gentiles, our gift to the outside world.

The recent hatred campaign we witnessed following the last email of one of our illustrious members, Rabbi Sex, proved sadly that we as a people did not learn any lessons from the past. Our Attackers tend to stay the same throughout the age and are extremely prompt in stoning in complete ignorance of facts. As two fifths of the planet before them over history, they blame us for desecrating the name of some people’s chief Rabbi and this is the moment to say that Sir Sachs represents the orthodox side of the Kahal Israel and not the all community (pretty far from it). Was all that fuss really justified then? That article involved Rabbi Sex and him uniquely even though I am aware that it could have been confused with Rabbi Sachs, but no more that Hitler could have been taken for Stalin in their own golden age. Polemic dismissed. Reflection would have been more interesting if centered on the symbol of Judas himself. Very few got interested on the fact that Judas died (actually killed himself) to rise again as Jewdas. The crowd is stoning us; accusing us of being Nazis. What does it stand for? I admit easily that my poor knowledge does not enable me to understand this acronym. At first glance I would say Neo Anti Zionists Intrigued in Socializing. Of course we could be, and may be this for the time being and to come, why not?

Finally, I conclude and out loud I say Hail Jewdas and rise my arm towards the skies as, against all, we are deeply convinced that the time will come for our brilliant community to see clearly our pathetic reflection. Once, one of my favorite Rabbis of all, who can not be named herein, told me he was amazed, witnessing the stupidness of the community, that we manage to be still living as Jews in present in history. The other members of the Beth Din and I are really amazed too.

Let’s walk together in this for a better world where truth defeats obscurantism. Hail Jewdas because we are a true salvation.

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