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State Goes Mental and Arrests Jewdas

Anyone go to Simcha on the Square in Trafalgar Square on Sunday? Well, we had a ball. Four fine Jewdassers were arrested at it and detained at Charing Cross Police Station on suspicion of distributing highly inflammable material of an anti-Semitic nature

Or as we like to call it, the flyers for our proposed next event, ‘Protocols of the Elders of Hackney’, to have taken place at Hackney Shul on October 21st. Perhaps this was a canny attempt by the Police, CST and the venerable organisers at the Jewish Music Institute to give us some extra publicity and get the build-up off to a bang, but boy did those handcuffs chaff, and six hours in interrogation, boys! That’s some publicity campaign.

The four, known only as Dogboy, random 76, the p factor and Robin Hood (said to be the ringleader) have been remanded in custody on charges of Racially Aggravated Leafletting under Section 4A and 19 (1) of the public order act. They are thought to be highly dangerous to themselves as well as others. At least one is thought to be at risk of self-hate and is on a round-the-clock suicide watch

Anyone who has received one of these poisonous flyers are asked to hand them in to an appropriate authority, before it explodes in a public place doing irreparable damage to the Anglo-Jewish psyche. But dear reader, you’re already involved. The flyers are here! You’re already looking at them, you anti-semite rotter!


Inevitably, this means that the remaining 250 flyers, currently held under lock and key by Agent Geoffrey, are now priceless gems to have in your possession, the beautiful men at the CID having confiscated the rest. Especially since the party’s not going to be at Hackney shul now anyway. Look out for them in your cafes and bookshops, and treasure them. Personal applications for such seditious material received via , where you can also access a crash course on the meaning of irony and the positive reclamation of taboo images. AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE ON OUR MAILING LIST FOR INFO ON THE NEW VENUE

And remember people, don’t do the Jew do these High Holydays, and attempt to show any pride. CST is watching you, and they’re up for a ruck. Except when it involves the men selling Holocaust denial DVDs outside Marble Arch – they won’t press for their arrest, don’t worry. Only the Jews.

And for anyone who doesn’t want us arrested, and who’d prefer to dance with us, see some spectacular art, participate in amazing communal audio and video, and celebrate being Jewish, we’ll see you at a mystery venue on Saturday 21st October from 9pm. Maybe you’d like to offer us your venue? But wherever it is, leave your truncheons at the door.


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