When J Date has let you down, and you’ve met every Jew around, and you’ve even considered moving town, when your parents give you a constant frown each time you turn “that nice Jewish boy/girl who works in the city and regularly appears in the “Community” section in the JC ” down…do not despair! There is a whole other closed community out there!
Our dating agency, “Desperate Jews For Lapsed Catholics” (DJLC), is specially designed to provide the perfect Catholic boy/girl for you and there is every reason to use us, too! It really is a match made in Shiksa and Shaygetz heaven. Just think of all the values , traditions, and complexes, we have in common, all which make for healthy loving relationships (and great debates on Seder night!)
Our communities both worship dead men, endure guilt and shame over sex and masturbation, partake in obsessive repetitive chanting of phrases in ancient tongue, hold irrational beliefs about the transformative nature of food (wine into blood, bread into flesh, the laws of chemistry and calories not applying to food eaten on the Sabbath), and of course that wondrous head gear, dress and general strange adornments which are defining features of both our communities. These are all just some amongst the many reasons why our members find their Bashert through us….and of course don’t forget the bonus of decreasing the risk of spreading those nasty genetic diseases, avoiding broiguses over a “get”, and to top it all off….. treif sex is just better when you don’t have to worry about ritual purity laws!
We even have an elite membership option, “ Catholics with Cash”. Sign up to this and you will have special access to our single, sexy Catholic doctors, lawyers and accountants. This will be certain to placate those super fussy parents with at least one of their necessary criteria!
If you are interested and would like to join DJLC please email Mrs Fleischig-Milkeg at: firstname.lastname@example.org