Julie Burchill can’t come to my party

It’s been a tense week in the Jewdas household. With only a few days left until our wonderful baby rebbe’s big party, it has become apparent that we have made a huge foe pass by inviting one of Geoffrey’s enemies. Geoffrey Cohen came down from her room to tell us, in a calm and quiet … Continued

How to have mind-blowing interfaith

The Jewdas guide to getting the best out of relations – between the liturgical sheets Christmas is once again upon us, when the god of the goyim inexplicably commands his followers to hang garishly bright-coloured lights in shopping centres, watch movies about the Second World War and ritually sacrifice large birds. For Jews, both secular … Continued

How do we make Ed Miliband look less Jewish?

We’re only six months away from elections and just a few polling points away from waking up to find Prime Minister Farage smugly staring down our TV screens. If Nasty Nigel and his friends get their way, we’ll be living in a nightmare scenario where fox hunting is mandatory, vegetables are taxed, air is privatised, … Continued

Your DNA says you should go back wherever you came from

Thanks to the miracles of scientific advancements, we can now pinpoint almost exactly how human beings developed. But what if our DNA can’t be used to serve the political ideologies of reactionaries? What will we do then? This week an article circulated showing that most Ashkenazi Jews in America are descended from Europeans. The study, … Continued

Who the fuck invited Julie Burchill?

or Unrequited: Memoirs of a Jewish Anti-Burchillite It was a normal Saturday night in Judaism.Jews- all of us – were having a quiet night in with the X Factor. We were just sitting down to a quiet evening of complaining, playing klezmer music, eating salmon and conforming to stereotypes. It was a normal night. Not … Continued

Geoffrey Cohen Demands to Sit on the Bored of Deputies

Rabbi, community leader, gadol hador and mother-of-four, Geoffrey Cohen, is this week demanding admittance to the Bored of Deputies. Geoffrey, as lifelong, glorious and esteemed leader of Kehillas Shluf, the Jewdas Bundist Shul in Milton Keynes, has requested immediate membership of the Bored of Deputies. It is thought that, when he is inevitably accepted, he will … Continued